Hilarious Phishing Attempts #lol #airdrop

Has anyone else been getting hit by phishing attemts, spam messages, fake posts, and other hate mail?

Seems like the internet is just steeming with a smorgasbord of poo-poo these days, but amidst the sh*tstorm, there are still some pretty funny emails that come our way.

Here are just a few we got over the past week.

Feel free to respond to these if you think they are legit, but please do send us a donation if they are even remotely true:

******************

Greetings,
My name is Major Garry Hoffman. I am an American soldier, presently in Afghanistan for the training, advising the Afghan forces and also helping in stabilizing the country against security challenges. With a very desperate need for assistance, I have decided to contact you for your kind assistance to move the sum of (US$38,000,000.00) Thirty eight Million United States Dollars to you if I can be assured that my share will be safe in your care until I complete my service.
Some money in various currencies was discovered in boxes at a farmhouse during a rescue operation we conducted in one of the attacks by the terrorists and it was agreed by my colleagues and I that some part of this money be shared among us. The above figure was given to me as my share, and to conceal this kind of money became a problem for me, so with the help of a British doctor working with Red Cross, I was able to get the package out to a safe location entirely out of trouble spot. he does not know the real content of the package, and believes that it belongs to a British /American medical doctor who died in a raid here in Afghanistan, and before giving up, trusted me to hand over the package to his Family.
I have now found a much secured way of getting the package out of Afghanistan to you for pick up and I will discuss this with you when I am sure that you are willing to assist me. I am ready to compensate you with 30% of the $38 million USD for your assistance.
I do not know how long we will remain here, and I have been shot, wounded and survived two suicide bomb attacks by the special grace of God, this and other reasons I will mention later has prompted me to reach out for help.
Please contact me as soon as possible with the following details:
Full Name:
Full Address:
Tel/cell numbers:
Occupation:
God Bless you as I look forward to your positive response.
Truly yours,
Major Garry Hoffman.

**************

Kenneth Schumer – .57
Jun 24 (1 day ago)
to me

Be careful with this message. Similar messages were used to steal people’s personal information. Unless you trust the sender, don’t click links or reply with personal information. Learn more
Greetings,

We are providing Loan/Investment funds to Companies and Individuals with profitable projects in any area of specialization at 2% per annum for a duration of 1 to 15 years with 10 months grace period.

Minimum application is 1M USD/EUR

Please get back to me if you are interested for more details, otherwise feel free to decline.

Regards

Kenneth Schumer

************

Married But Unhappy Pussy

Looking for one or two men to play with

Will respond with pictures

Hit me baby:: http://fuck_mee.pagedemo.co/

**************************

Hi Dear respected friend,

My name is Lex Jones, From United States of America. I am a military officer,working at U.S military, base camp here in Syria. The US Military Base is located north of the Euphrates River, three miles from the town of Rawah, along a major route that connects the Syrian border to roads leading north toward Mosul and east to Baghdad.
I want you to know that we are being attacked by insurgents every day and car bombs here in Syria. On January 1, during our rescue mission assignment for a Jordanian Pilot (hostage) at ISIS Oil Facility, there was a particularly brutal firefight in Raga, Isis’s capital in Syria, after defeating them, I came across a two crest box that contain huge amount of money that belongs to the sponsors and supporter of ISIS, which i believe that the money was meant for buying of weapons and ammunition’s, so we agreed by 9 Army officer on that rescue mission that the money will be enclosed and be shared among all of us.
After we shared the money, i got a share of $5,700,000 (Five Million,Seven Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) US Government has ordered relocation of my team to another US military base located at boarder in between Jordan and Syria, so i need your assistance to evacuate my share of the money out of this country i have deposited it for safe keeping to your own country. Before senior Army officials will discover it.
I am soliciting on you to keep it safe on my behalf till i come over to your country,It’s clear to me that you might be scared of this
proposal, but i want to let you know that i have made solid arrangements with a Security Cargo Company that specialize on
diplomatic delivery and they have promised to deliver the fund through diplomatic method to any of my choosing destination. This delivery is going to be handle legally by the Security Cargo Company and there will be no form of risk in the process and the money will be sealed pack safely in a Diplomatic Box and the Diplomatic Box will be deliver to you in your country by a Diplomat. I
have decided to compensate you with 38% of the total money once after the money is delivered to you,while the rest balance shall be my investment capital in your country.
Please i need your assurance that if this money is delivered to you,that you are going to be trustworthy to keep the money safe till i
arrive to your country to meet you,then we will plan on how to live our life and investment with it.
One passionate appeal I will make to you is not to discuss this matter to a third party,if you do not want to assist to this business please delete this letter from your email box to avoid any leakage of this information and it will be dangerous to me based on my position here.
I have chosen to contact you after my prayers and I believe that you will not betray my trust nor thwart my dream, though you may wonder why I am so soon revealing myself to you without formal introduction,well I will say that my mind convinced me that you are the true person to help me in receiving and investing this Fund.
Note; I do not know how long we going to remain here and my fate since I have survived two bomb attack here, which prompted me to search out for a reliable and trust worthy person to help me receive and invest the Fund, because I will be coming over to your home country to invest and start a new life as a retired Lieutenant soldier.
I hope my explanation is very clear but if you need further clarification just let me know and i will explain further, I want to
let you know that here in the military base camp we are not allow to make use of mobile phone, we only make use of radio message and email communication, so please let us continue communicating through email for the mean time.
Conclusively, i wish you could send me a reply immediately in regards to this proposal,your urgent reply will be highly appreciated before we relocated.
I wait to receive your acceptable reply as soon as you read this letter
Kiss,
Lex Jones.

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